Last Week's Look-Back, 1/24/2021
We left the hospital with our firstborn on the day of winter solstice, December 21st. It was the day of a rare “Great Conjunction” when Jupiter and Saturn would be closer together than they had been for nearly 400 years. It was in a way the day of a great conjunction of our past and future. A little human was coming home with us and would forever be a part of our lives.
It’s been just over a month now since that day. We’ve been cooped up indoors, watching each day’s rising and setting of the sun out our large living room windows. We’ve followed the nation’s political events from the comfort of our couches and listened to news reports of the latest Coronavirus numbers ticking up, up, and up under soft bed covers each morning.
With multiple nightly feedings and continuously shifting infant needs, the days and nights in these early postpartum weeks feel interchangeable. I’m starting to build in a semblance of a routine, but on most days I’m just wading through heavy eyelids and burp cloths. There is no other time in my life my body has been needed so much (hello breastfeeding) and has needed so much.
I’m one who thrives on dates and cyclical cycles to keep my life in order. On my best days, I can break the day’s tasks and into minutes. I break my ever-expanding list of goals into days, weeks, and months, making sure to consider things like major holidays, even moon cycles. New Year’s Day is a favorite holiday of mine. I tuck myself away each year, coated in blankets and warm coffee, and hit my pillow at the end of the day with a full journal and fueled mind.
But there’s no ultimate motherhood checklist that I can reference that will tell me when my job is “done”. There may have been a distinct beginning to this new life of ours, but there is no “end”. The job is never done. Is there much else in life that is this way?
We celebrated our little one’s first month with us by rolling out his rainbow printed playmat, setting out a sign noting the milestone, and standing over him to capture his unchanging expression with a hundred photos. Proud parents, beaming.
As the world carries on with its big, important agenda, my husband and I are here counting diaper changes and trying to find 20 minutes in a day to say “hello” to one another. And I guess that’s where we’re at for now. We’ll rejoin the world in time. For now, I quite like this very small world we’re in.
Things I’ve loved this week
Binging Bridgerton, Netflix’s dramatic eight-episode series, and the classic covers of modern songs by Vitamin String Quartet and series composer Kris Bowers.
Krista Tippett’s interview with Mary Oliver, conducted in 2015, which I listened to on the two-year anniversary of her passing.
The video of this baby monkey getting its first bath at the Philadelphia Zoo.
Basically every Bernie Sanders meme from Inauguration day 2021.
This article about what the swearing-in of Kamala Harris means for young American women.
Delving deep to watch all the videos I could find of Amanda Gorman reciting poetry, including this one from 2017, which caught Jill Biden’s attention.
Songs bringing me life this week
“Rooftop Dancing” by Sylvan Esso
“bad guy” by Vitamin String Quartet
“Walden Pond” by Atta Boy
“Dive Deep (Hushed)” by Andrew Belle
“Today” by Fruit Bats
“Lovers Carvings - VXACRXP Session” by Bibio
“Best Part (feat H.E.R.)” by Daniel Caesar, H.E.R.
“Colour Me” by Juke Ross
“Lasting Lover” by Sigala, James Arthur
“Poetry” by Wrabel
“Wrapped in Piano Strings” by Radical Face
The “Last Week’s Look-Back” series will be posted on this blog weekly each Sunday afternoon. It’s me at my most honest: an unpolished spewing of reflections and ramblings on all that’s happening in the world.
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